Peas...

Boy (singing): I've got peas like a river, I've got peas like a river. I've got peas like a river in my soul.
Mom: What were you singing?
Boy: I've got peas.
Mom: What is peas?
Boy: You know. The green balls we eat. Mama, why do we sing about peas?

Theology

Mom: Please don't bang your head on the chair. Your body is a Temple of God. [said for sheer desperation for him to STOP banging his head]

The Boy: What is a Temple of God, Mama?

Mom: It's a place where God lives. [If I was theologically inaccurate, I apologize to you scholars. :)]

The Boy: Why is our body called the Temple of God?

Mom: Well, because He lives in...

The Boy: Our hearts. Mom, He lives in all of our hearts. There is only one God, but He's big enough to live in everyone's heart.

Småland

Parents: What did you learn about in Sunday School today?

The Boy: Ikea.

Parents: You mean Zacchaeus?

The Boy: Yeah, that was his name.

There's a Moth in the House

Other Kids: Get it! Squish it! Stomp it!

The Boy: But....Guys....I kind of like bugs.

Bee Sting

Why didn't he know that I love animals?

Slow Daddy

Dad dad dad. OK, I know this is confusing for you. So I'll tell you again.

The actual quote was:

"How come you get to make all the decisions? Are you some kind of king or something?"

And the response was:

"I am in your world."